what a great mood i'm in! i'm not sure why. maybe i should be embarassed of this, but i'm listening to the blood brothers' "burn piano island, burn". the whole album. and i mean, they're talentless, but they bring back so many memories of being 16. i just got back from my doctor appointment. no surgery, yet. but they did slop this goo all over my chest and rubbed it around with a wand. it was awkward, sure. but i've had ultrasounds before. the technician said she'd send the findings over to my ob-gyn, and that he would send me the results. i did, however, ask her if she found anything harmful. she said, as a technician not having her phd, she wasn't qualified to tell me. but she did give me her professional opinion that whatever the lump is, be it a cist or whatever, that it is highly unlikely and rare for a female my age, with my background, to develop breast cancer. maybe that's why i'm in such an uplifted mood. although, it isn't unheard of, so i'm only going to get my hopes 99.9% up. on the transfer train last night to ronkonkoma, there wasn't a single seat available. so i had to stand for about 40 minutes, until we hit a station where a lot of people sitting got off. but while i was standing, i had my earbuds in, and i didn't realize how loud i was being. my cell phone sounded the nokia tone every time i got a text message, neutral milk hotel blasting in my ears...well, anyway. the train shifted, and i was only leaning on a hand rail, so my weight shifted as well. i fell on top of a young woman, and yelled "shit!" but in my head, it was whispered. so the whole way to ronkonkoma station, everybody stared at me. i was the worst train ride i've ever been on. i should go dry my underpants.